At the end of nearly every tennis match—whether it’s the final of Wimbledon or a local club match—you’ll see something strikingly consistent: the players shake hands with each other and then turn to shake hands with the chair umpire and sometimes the line judges as well. No matter how grueling the match or how controversial the calls, this small gesture of respect is a defining hallmark of the sport.
It might seem like a mere formality. After all, these athletes are trained professionals, and etiquette is part of the game. But it’s more than that. In a sports world that often glorifies victory at all costs and vilifies referees for “blown calls,” tennis stands almost alone in its public, ritualized acknowledgment of the authority and humanity of the official. The handshake is a symbolic act that says: “We didn’t always agree—but I respect the role you play.”
The Arbiter’s Role: Beyond the Score
Referees, umpires, and judges hold the line between competition and chaos. They are the guardians of the rules, the interpreters of fairness, and the protectors of the spirit of the game. And yet, in many sports, they are treated with suspicion, disdain, or outright hostility.
In football (both American and international), basketball, and baseball, it’s common to see players arguing calls, coaches challenging decisions, and fans booing from the stands. In some unfortunate cases, referees are physically threatened. Rarely are they thanked. And almost never are they publicly acknowledged with gestures of gratitude, as they are in tennis.
Tennis offers us a counter-model—a quiet culture of sportsmanship where the presence of the arbiter is not only accepted but appreciated. It is almost religious in tone: two competitors meet, battle, and then show respect to each other and to the one who stood in judgment over them.
There is a powerful message here, especially in today’s world of polarization and suspicion of institutions: respecting the referee is a way of respecting the system, and the idea that no one is above the rules—even if the rules sometimes feel unfair.
Moments of Reverence: When the Game Pauses for the Ref
Of course, sports aren’t always hostile to referees. There are poignant moments when the humanity of the official breaks through the noise of the game. These moments remind us that even arbiters can become heroes—or at least honored participants.
In Major League Baseball, for example, home plate umpires often take foul balls to the mask or chest, and when they’re shaken up, play stops. Recently, during a game between the Mets and the Braves, umpire Jerry Layne was struck in the head with a foul tip. Without hesitation, the Mets’ team medical staff came running—the home team offering care to the neutral official. The players stood back, watching in concern. It was a moment of shared vulnerability.
Similarly, in NFL games, referees have been caught in the chaos. In 2017, official Jeff Triplette was accidentally leveled during a goal-line run. The play stopped immediately. Players from both teams helped him to his feet. And yes—the team’s trainers rushed out, even though he didn’t wear their jersey.
These are unwritten rules of the game: you respect the referee not because they’re perfect, but because without them, the game can’t exist.
Other Examples: Glimpses of Gratitude
Tennis might be the gold standard, but it’s not alone. In Olympic gymnastics, athletes often acknowledge the judges with a nod or wave after routines. In figure skating, skaters bow to the judges after their performance—another vestige of old-world etiquette that reflects a deep respect for the evaluators.
In college wrestling, it’s common for the winner to have their hand raised by the referee—and often, the athlete will shake the ref’s hand before leaving the mat. This too is a small, but meaningful tradition.
In rugby, known for its intense physicality, players still refer to the referee as “sir,” and disrespect is punished swiftly. That culture of respect is built into the game itself.
But none of these rituals are as universal and ingrained as the tennis handshake. Even in moments of intense frustration or perceived injustice, most players still make their way to the chair for that final gesture.
A Teachable Moment: Sports as Moral Theatre
Why does this matter?
Because in sports—as in life—we are constantly navigating conflict, disagreement, and judgment. How we treat the person who enforces the rules says a lot about our character. And how we respond to decisions that go against us can reveal more about us than the scoreboard ever could.
Tennis teaches us that the referee isn’t the enemy. Even when we disagree, we shake hands. We acknowledge their role. We uphold the idea that fairness requires a trusted arbiter.
Imagine a world where that ethic extended beyond the court—where politicians shook hands with neutral moderators, where protestors and police acknowledged shared humanity, where criticism could coexist with respect.
The ritual of the tennis handshake reminds us that even in competition—especially in competition—respect must endure.
Conclusion: The Handshake That Matters
The chair umpire in tennis doesn’t have an easy job. They are often alone in their decision, elevated on a perch both literally and symbolically. They watch with eagle eyes, make high-stakes calls, and manage the temperaments of elite athletes under enormous pressure.
And at the end of the day, they extend a hand.
The players reach up and take it.
There’s something deeply human and profoundly beautiful about that. No trophy required.
So the next time you watch a tennis match, wait for that moment. It’s not just the scoreline that tells the story. It’s the handshake.
In a world that often teaches us to question authority, tennis reminds us to honor the referee. And in doing so, to honor something bigger than any one call or contest: the integrity of the game itself.